Bapteenbid is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring swan.

Bapteenbid created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapteenbid, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bapteenbid, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Bapteenbid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bapteenbid's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Always count to five before sleeping.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Always take life seriously.