Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, benevolent weasel.

Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp created gold six million years ago.

If you believe in Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Worship no other gods but Sisyimtagnillgepsabapp.

3. Never chant while facing east.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near sharks while wearing fawn trousers and balancing nine zinc spheres on your feet.