Yartyarttof is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, sapient gerbil.

Yartyarttof created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yartyarttof, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yartyarttof, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Yartyarttof's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Yartyarttof's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in darkness.

2. Hide from turquoise sharks for they are unholy.

3. Do not step barefoot upon black earth.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not run at crossroads.