Futfodlun is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, calm mole.

Futfodlun created a quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Futfodlun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Futfodlun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Futfodlun's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Futfodlun's Holy Commandments

1. Always share coconuts with strangers, but never with birds.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near snails while wearing cyan shorts and balancing nine iron spheres on your feet.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Snakes are not to be trusted.