Haksogyim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, smart cat.

Haksogyim created dark matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Haksogyim, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Haksogyim, it will throw large rocks at you.

Haksogyim's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Haksogyim's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Always count to seven before sleeping.

5. Always store aubergines above ground.