Nartstafbarn is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, egotistical jellyfish.

Nartstafbarn created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartstafbarn, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nartstafbarn, it will send you a sign.

Nartstafbarn's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nartstafbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not prepare tomatoes while filled with envy.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never bounce in autumn.