Camsawveen Vigfatontmab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unsympathetic guinea pig.

Camsawveen Vigfatontmab created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Camsawveen Vigfatontmab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Camsawveen Vigfatontmab, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Camsawveen Vigfatontmab's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Camsawveen Vigfatontmab's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in shadows.

2. You must love Camsawveen Vigfatontmab.

3. Always help whales.

4. Never fashion tools from ash.

5. Camsawveen Vigfatontmab must be the most important thing in your life.