Bonkkinfagjabtifbessfabbot Beppasbim is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, deceitful pigeon.

Bonkkinfagjabtifbessfabbot Beppasbim created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bonkkinfagjabtifbessfabbot Beppasbim, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonkkinfagjabtifbessfabbot Beppasbim, she will strike you with lightening.

Bonkkinfagjabtifbessfabbot Beppasbim's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bonkkinfagjabtifbessfabbot Beppasbim's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near geese while wearing purple shorts and balancing five titanium spheres on your face.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Run away if seven bats approach from the north.

5. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.