Botnilhak is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, sage frog.

Botnilhak created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botnilhak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Botnilhak, he will come to you in dreams.

Botnilhak's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Botnilhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not take Botnilhak's name in vain.

3. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never speak aloud of names.