Cidwabbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, intelligent dog.

Cidwabbaf created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cidwabbaf, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cidwabbaf, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Cidwabbaf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Cidwabbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat strawberries on fasting days.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Retreat if five foxes approach from the south.

5. Always help otters in need.