Midhogmum is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, competent newt.

Midhogmum created the Andromeda Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midhogmum, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Midhogmum, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Midhogmum's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Midhogmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow dogs to witness sacred rites.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Midhogmum.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.