Shavdimtim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful hare.

Shavdimtim created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavdimtim, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Shavdimtim, he will torture you forever.

Shavdimtim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Shavdimtim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with mauve.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never wear orange shorts.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.

5. Always act with obedience when addressing strangers.