Betnatminzakxucksigjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, witty wren.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Betnatminzakxucksigjarn, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Betnatminzakxucksigjarn, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Betnatminzakxucksigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.