Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fast hamster.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit created Mount Everest two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit, it will ignore you.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cubpakcinhugdibyoklistcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near tortoises while wearing purple boots.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always remove kilts before touching silicon.

4. Always store spinach above ground.

5. Never think ill of sick geese.