Gumtarpcud is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unfair gnu.

Gumtarpcud created the cosmos four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumtarpcud, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gumtarpcud, it will try to impress you with trees.

Gumtarpcud's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gumtarpcud's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a building before entering it.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Do not place pineapples upon stone.

5. Never pour water over plants.