Tailjangat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, compassionate eagle.

Tailjangat created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailjangat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tailjangat, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tailjangat's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Tailjangat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never wear fawn tights.

3. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

4. Never think about quantum gravity.

5. Never discuss cell theory in public assemblies.