Fobbossdoss is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tranquil crab.

Fobbossdoss created vertebrates six million years ago.

If you believe in Fobbossdoss, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fobbossdoss, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fobbossdoss' most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Fobbossdoss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fobbossdoss' name in vain.

2. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always look after injured porpoises.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.