Bitquimlab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, contented jackal.

Bitquimlab created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bitquimlab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bitquimlab, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bitquimlab's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bitquimlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never cross rivers at midnight.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching tin.

3. Never chant while facing east.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.