Fabtadtad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless rhinoceros.

Fabtadtad created the Milkyway five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fabtadtad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fabtadtad, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Fabtadtad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Fabtadtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near doves while wearing black kilts.

2. Never mark doors with mauve.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

5. Never feed tomatoes to badgers while wearing magenta shirts.