Bagtinpom is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, all-knowing yak.

Bagtinpom created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagtinpom, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bagtinpom, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Bagtinpom's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bagtinpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your arms toward the south during prayer.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not name children after shrews.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.