Sisfabquill Pibmifvig is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, able scorpion.

Sisfabquill Pibmifvig created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sisfabquill Pibmifvig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sisfabquill Pibmifvig, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sisfabquill Pibmifvig's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sisfabquill Pibmifvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mark doors with violet.

2. Heed all dreams.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching nickel.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Do not stand on grass.