Tabkingeppin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, fussy giraffe.

Tabkingeppin created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabkingeppin, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tabkingeppin, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tabkingeppin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Tabkingeppin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Do not prepare spinach while filled with anger.

3. Tabkingeppin loves voles, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Never curse while facing east.