Mabquillponteen is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, selfish hamster.

Mabquillponteen created parasitic wasps nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mabquillponteen, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Mabquillponteen, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Mabquillponteen's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Mabquillponteen's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near birds while wearing cyan ear rings.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never speak the names of comets aloud.