Kimmintapcep is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, tranquil cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kimmintapcep created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Kimmintapcep, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Kimmintapcep, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kimmintapcep's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Kimmintapcep's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never think about ultrasonics near frogs while wearing white hats and balancing nine carbon spheres on your back.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Do not keep seven grasshopers in a large pit.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from stone.