Yoklip is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, idiotic troll.

Yoklip created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yoklip, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yoklip, he will turn you into a mouse.

Yoklip's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yoklip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not resist chaos.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not prepare figs while wearing skirts.

5. Always cleanse blood with water.