Gilwod is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty lion.

Gilwod created an atom seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilwod, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gilwod, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Gilwod's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gilwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Heed all signs.

3. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.

4. Do not consume parsnips at dawn.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Gilwod on top of all buildings.