Lakbotnak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, happy fairy.

Lakbotnak created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Lakbotnak, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lakbotnak, she will ignore you.

Lakbotnak's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Lakbotnak's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of fate in the presence of children.

2. Always keep your back turned to the east at sunset.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.