Hubcetmig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, astonishing swallow.

Hubcetmig created the Sunflower Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubcetmig, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hubcetmig, it will turn you into a slug.

Hubcetmig's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Hubcetmig's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Hubcetmig in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never handle iron while unclean.

4. Always wash your back before prayer.

5. Do not hurt nematodes.