Hambaffar is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, contented naga.

Hambaffar created the Small Magellanic Cloud two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hambaffar, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hambaffar, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hambaffar's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Hambaffar's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove hats before touching silicon.

2. Never talk about tapirs.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not take Hambaffar's name in vain.

5. Do not commit murder.