Bigdutsog is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, happy walrus.

Bigdutsog created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bigdutsog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bigdutsog, it will turn you into a rat.

Bigdutsog's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bigdutsog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not wear indigo clothing.

5. Hide from green birds for they are unholy.