Zigwabaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, charitable crow.

Zigwabaf created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigwabaf, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Zigwabaf, he will turn you into a duck.

Zigwabaf's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zigwabaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never eat onions on days of mourning.

5. Always wear plain hats during rituals.