Targnellfid Kamortmon is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty crab.

Targnellfid Kamortmon created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targnellfid Kamortmon, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Targnellfid Kamortmon, she will boil you in a big pot.

Targnellfid Kamortmon's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Targnellfid Kamortmon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never record secrets.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.