Hivtalbud is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, self-confident cat.

Hivtalbud created the universe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtalbud, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hivtalbud, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hivtalbud's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Hivtalbud's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear shorts marked with magenta.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Never mark doors with orange.

5. Never eat coconuts.