Lenhogvonkhiv is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ruthless mole.

Lenhogvonkhiv created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Lenhogvonkhiv, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lenhogvonkhiv, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lenhogvonkhiv's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Lenhogvonkhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow monkeys to witness sacred rites.

2. Always store wheat above ground.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about galaxies.

5. Do not keep three otters in a large pit.