Safkap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, irritating finch.

Safkap created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Safkap, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Safkap, she will boil you in a big pot.

Safkap's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Safkap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horses.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to rats while wearing blue scarves.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Always wash your chest before prayer.