Flatnegwod is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, weak warg.

Flatnegwod created the solar system six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flatnegwod, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Flatnegwod, it will turn you into a rat.

Flatnegwod's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Flatnegwod's Holy Commandments

1. Pray only in firelight.

2. Never speak of fate in the presence of strangers.

3. Do not take Flatnegwod's name in vain.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.