Flamjipstip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, omnipotent seal.

Flamjipstip created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Flamjipstip, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flamjipstip, she will turn you into a tree.

Flamjipstip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Flamjipstip's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help ants.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. Always remove scarves before entering holy places.

5. Fast once a month.