Gessyattgid is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent mongoose.

Gessyattgid created Europe three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessyattgid, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gessyattgid, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gessyattgid's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Gessyattgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat rats with great respect.

2. Hide if nine nematodes approach from the west.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never cross rivers at dawn.

5. Do not wear jumpers marked with brown.