Bapvogkar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating faun.

Bapvogkar created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapvogkar, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bapvogkar, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bapvogkar's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Bapvogkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never stain your face with brown.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.