Larpfitnat is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, self-assured swan.

Larpfitnat created oxygen two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpfitnat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Larpfitnat, it will curse you with boils.

Larpfitnat's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Larpfitnat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

4. Never touch oil while blessed.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.