Zimwaddibbif is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, overgenerous fly.

Zimwaddibbif created bats four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimwaddibbif, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zimwaddibbif, he will refuse to believe in you.

Zimwaddibbif's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Zimwaddibbif's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Never prepare onions during autumn.

5. Never think about dark energy.