Vonkgunfossdag is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic dolphin.

Vonkgunfossdag created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgunfossdag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonkgunfossdag, she will turn you into a dog.

Vonkgunfossdag's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Vonkgunfossdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips.

2. Always cleanse water with water.

3. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Vonkgunfossdag loves grasshopers, so they must be honoured.