Cadstipweg is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, calm octopus.

Cadstipweg created a Higgs boson five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadstipweg, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cadstipweg, she will turn you into a worm.

Cadstipweg's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cadstipweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never travel toward the north during winter.

2. Do not name children after mites.

3. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Cadstipweg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cadstipweg.

5. Never talk about comets.