Tailnarlbap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured jaguar.

Tailnarlbap created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailnarlbap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Tailnarlbap, he will turn you into a snail.

Tailnarlbap's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Tailnarlbap's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always check lakes for frogs.

3. Never mark doors with green.

4. Do not keep seven cats in a large pit.

5. Run away if three whales approach from the north.