Arfbastyat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, duplicitous toad.

Arfbastyat created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arfbastyat, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arfbastyat, she will turn you into a sheep.

Arfbastyat's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Arfbastyat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide from black geese for they are unholy.

3. Arfbastyat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never travel toward the north during autumn.

5. Never wear dresses.