Gubflownankem is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, irritating squirrel.

Gubflownankem created a bottom quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubflownankem, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gubflownankem, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Gubflownankem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gubflownankem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain scarves during rituals.

2. Do not resist chaos.

3. Do not travel during autumn.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never write about chlorophyll.