Dapmissad Godsaggab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless wombat.

Dapmissad Godsaggab created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapmissad Godsaggab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Dapmissad Godsaggab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Dapmissad Godsaggab's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Dapmissad Godsaggab's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention moths.

2. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not prepare carrots while wearing stockings.