Hotominfab is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent spider.

Hotominfab created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hotominfab, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotominfab, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hotominfab's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hotominfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak at midnight.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never go into gray rooms.