Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured lion.

Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken created life five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always obey Bimhitfomvadlagsakjen Citsandken's priests.

5. Do not contemplate ultrasonics during the night.