Gambadpod is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-assured walrus.

Gambadpod created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gambadpod, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gambadpod, he will be very sad.

Gambadpod's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Gambadpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near frogs while wearing indigo kilts.

2. Feed all hungry turtles.

3. Never record names.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gambadpod.

5. Do not leap at forests.